Studs Up

Chad Ocho Cino is an NFL wide receiver who, tellingly, changed his name from ‘Johnson’ to Ocho Cinco, apparently Spanish for his squad number 85. Being a wide receiver means he is considered a “skill” player in the NFL, which in American sports also means he is still bigger than Drogba. The man is well known for his tweets but has also stated numerous times to the US media his genuine passion for football (the proper one). He even counts Thierry Henry and Ronaldinho as friends – hence his desire to play for Barca.

I’ve often wondered what football would be like if America’s super athletes decided to take up the sport. What would a football match even look like with a bunch of players who were as tall as Crouch, strong as Drogba and fast as Ronaldo? Probably something like this.

If you haven’t seen it already, Premier League sponsors Barclay’s ran a competition to find the best fan in India. The winner, Aby Baby Kuruvilla, sent in his winning video and revealed himself as an absolute nutter and certainly a worthy winner.

On the one hand, it’s not fair to laugh at someone trying their damnedest to prove their fandom, which by definition involves embarrassing yourself. It’s even harder for the guy to do it in a secondary language, and for a product that, while they get plenty of live matches in Asia, is tough to connect with on a cultural level from the other side of the world. I’ve lived in Hong Kong, the US, the UK and spent large amount of time in Australia and know exactly how tough it can be to really connect with a foreign league, club, and culture from a different country. I didn’t realize how stark the difference was until I lived in London and saw the difference for myself. The words to club chants, for example, can prove tricky to navigate via the muffled bellows of a TV broadcast.

On the other hand, the guy who won it is an absolute mentalist who made his own scarf out of paper, Premier League trophy out of cardboard and foil, and whose Arsenal kit has a Puma logo on it. He also sings songs for like 5 minutes straight by himself. (Edit: I received an email from a reader complaining that I was laughing at people from the third world. I am not. I am laughing at this guy. Because he is hilarious.)

So congratulations to the guy, I still remember vividly my first match and I can’t imagine what he’s going to feel like… other than really f***ing cold!